Faith. Identity.
Real Motherhood.

From the outside looking in, I had checked all the boxes. But the question that started buzzing underneath was: “Were these even my boxes to check?

But walking the trail today, creation itself seemed to whisper something simpler. You don’t have to control the forest for it to flourish. And maybe motherhood works the same way.

It's said that human beings are wired for belonging and significance. When that sense of significance feels threatened, we move toward control — not always consciously.

It’s not a personal failure. It’s a biological mismatch. We are biologically and psychologically built to have children — but not culturally structured and supported for parenthood.

In practice, healthy parenting doesn’t always look like a perfectly regulated response in the moment. Sometimes it looks like coming back later — when everyone’s nervous system has settled…

I wasn’t just leaving a store. I was beginning to mourn a season of my life that has very clearly passed. There will be no more “Mommy’s Number One Fan” onesies. No more tiny jeans…